shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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