He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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