What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
