And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
