I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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