I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
