He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
