he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I enjoy the company of your penis
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
