mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
