Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
