i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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