Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Small penises have feelings too.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
