Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I love having hate sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
