The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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