those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize