YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
