I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
