He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
did i just pee glitter
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
