wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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