you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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