Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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