i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
