why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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