Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
