I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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