i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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