How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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