addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
