I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
