My brain says no but my pants say off.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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