The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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