I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
