How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
