i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize