he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
