My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
