I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
false alarm. still invincible.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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