I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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