She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
