you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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