She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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