I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
