Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
