I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
