Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
