Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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