he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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