can u get pink eye on your cock?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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