she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
