We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
