fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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