I cockslap morals
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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