Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
