I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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