I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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