why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
