some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize