You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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